The American Dream?

I once had a friend who was an avid blogger, writing all the time, sharing anything and everything that came to her mind. But then “WORK” happened. She slowly lost track of the time she spent behind the damned PC at work, started writing less and less with each passing week. She started working so hard that, the personal laptop she once used to write blogs with, became a tool to write complex database queries and emails to the boss explaining why she was behind schedule on her project delivery. Back when I was a student and she told me this, I promised myself I wouldn’t turn into her. But sadly, a year into my job, I am exactly at the same place and position as my friend. Project releases, project go-lives, logging into the work system at weird hours to check if everything is okay, my life has become just another so called “American dream”. I agree I am making good money but right now, the only surprise the day holds for me is the kitchen when I cook. The only mystery I look forward to unraveling is whether the dinner I made was flavored enough or if I screwed it up, YET again.Gaps between blogs turned from days to weeks and now I look at it, the last time I wrote something was almost half a year ago. So many things have happened between then and now. So many milestones, so many new experiences and so many memories made but they’re all locked up in that teeny tiny brain of mine. Is it the really heavy (and tasty) cashew nut curry that I had for dinner that’s making me talk philosophy or is it the fact that I leave for my motherland in almost a week that’s triggering this flurry of emotions within me? I am not sure but whatever the reason, I haven’t this simultaneous sense of clarity and chaos in a while.A part of me is honestly scared to go back home because I’ve come to enjoy this new found independence and “alone”ness that I have here. You need to realize that “alone” and “lonely” are like the North and South Pole. Totally different in what they mean. I mean, me liking the fact that I’m alone says a lot about my liking for independence but had I said “lonely”, well…. that’s just outright sad. On the other hand, if you visit my desk at work, you can see the countdown to my trip on that huge white board going 10…9…8…7. You get the idea right? Every time I see a movie that talks about family, India, love and friendship, I break into tears. Maybe I just miss coming home to someone welcoming me back, asking me how my day was etc etc etc… but does that make me weak? Does yearning for something make you a weakling? I don’t think so. Rather, I think that makes you even more human because, in the end, what’s the point in making a ton of money if I don’t have someone to spend that with?I am going on vacation to India for just two weeks and I very well know that the two weeks is going to go by in a flash. There’s so much that I want to do when I am there but there just isn’t enough time. I want to be with all my friends, eat from my mom’s hand, get shouted at by dad for doing something silly, tease my brother with his “girl” friends, eat at roadside eateries, and the list just keeps growing the more I think of it. But honestly, 14 days isn’t going to be enough. Suggestions anyone? What do you think I should do?I am going to bed now with the happiness that, when I wake up tomorrow, it’ll be one less day to wait until I board the flight back home.Cheerio,K