I am ?

There have  been many times when I have wondered and looked at people in awe at the way they do things, how even the smallest of things they do sounds funny or interesting to those around them. 

I have even gone to the extent of trying to imitate them so that I get 'recognized' by those around me. Come on now! don't say that you have not done the same thing that I do. Everybody likes to be recognized and that is why they do the things they do. 

A comedian enacts stuff because he wants people to think he is funny...a writer writes and publishes things because he wants people to recognize and appreciate the work he does.

Many of my friends are great writers and have something known these days as 'digital presence'. They are good at everything from being funny to being sarcastic to being that 'popular' dude in town. I have tried being sarcastic and tried my luck with having the 'digital presence' but I soon realized that, that was not who I was.

The other day, I was thinking of why certain things worry well for others but not for us. I realized one thing...I am whom I am and nothing is going to change that. NO matter how hard I try, I can never be that 'someone' who I want people around me to think of me as. Yes agreed, it can be hurting and disappointing at times when things do not go as you want it..but that is no reason for me to try being someone else when I am already good at being 'me'. If the person next to me cannot see me for who I am, that is their problem and not mine.

I am glad that I have people around me who can appreciate me for who 'Karthik' is and not for me trying to be the person I wanted them to perceive me as. Even now, I sat down thinking that I was going to get all philosophical and write this really great blog. But by now, u would have realized that this is nowhere near good..forget great :)  But what it has done for me is, lightened my mind a little and now...I can sleep peacefully. Because...in the end, what I think about me is more important to me than what others think of me. My mom always tells me...if you don't love yourself, then how can you expect others to love you? True isn't it? :)

Love,

Karthik Venkatachalapathi